...Fuck Metallica....
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let me say greetings and salutations and welcome to the Electric Mayhem, my blog away from blog and your source for a voice of clarity and reason on all things to do with that which I love....heavy metal.
Ever since the age of 13, I have been enamored with the loud distortion ladened sounds of guitars and the frantic drumming of fucking metal. real metal. I don't mean that glam shit from the 80's that Pantera used to be a part of..or the emo metal bullshit today that SO many fucking bands today cling to. I mean METAL. Bands like Iron Maiden, Motorhead and Slayer. I was 13 in 1984 when I heard my first Slayer album and scared the fucking shit out of me. I had, for one, never heard a band play that fast before, and two, never been exposed to such blatabtly "satanic" lyrics. My parents were the uptight pseudo Christians that sheltered their kids from the evils of bands as innoccuous as the Grateful Dead..let alone ones propagating that we JOIN THEM in the pit of hell. Thank God....lol....for my drugged out friends at school who turned me on to Slayer. It saved my life.
Back in the 80's we also had the flip side of the coin. Glam metal. Makeup, spandex pants, shitty music and even shittier lyrics..solely designed to sell to wet pantied teenage girls and confused boys who later found out they were just queer. Over the years it really hasn't changed all that much. It morphed from glam into emo. It's still the same. Pussies pretending to be metal trying to market their music to jailbait and Fire Island attendees. You whiny little bitches suck. SUCK. Capice? Your faggoty kate gosselin haircuts and girlpants do nothing but cause the bile to over process within my innards. Bands like Killswitch Engage and Bleeding Through are not metal...they are homorific fecal waste with bad haircuts and crying. Boo Hoo pantywaists...boo hoo.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let me say greetings and salutations and welcome to the Electric Mayhem, my blog away from blog and your source for a voice of clarity and reason on all things to do with that which I love....heavy metal.
Ever since the age of 13, I have been enamored with the loud distortion ladened sounds of guitars and the frantic drumming of fucking metal. real metal. I don't mean that glam shit from the 80's that Pantera used to be a part of..or the emo metal bullshit today that SO many fucking bands today cling to. I mean METAL. Bands like Iron Maiden, Motorhead and Slayer. I was 13 in 1984 when I heard my first Slayer album and scared the fucking shit out of me. I had, for one, never heard a band play that fast before, and two, never been exposed to such blatabtly "satanic" lyrics. My parents were the uptight pseudo Christians that sheltered their kids from the evils of bands as innoccuous as the Grateful Dead..let alone ones propagating that we JOIN THEM in the pit of hell. Thank God....lol....for my drugged out friends at school who turned me on to Slayer. It saved my life.
Back in the 80's we also had the flip side of the coin. Glam metal. Makeup, spandex pants, shitty music and even shittier lyrics..solely designed to sell to wet pantied teenage girls and confused boys who later found out they were just queer. Over the years it really hasn't changed all that much. It morphed from glam into emo. It's still the same. Pussies pretending to be metal trying to market their music to jailbait and Fire Island attendees. You whiny little bitches suck. SUCK. Capice? Your faggoty kate gosselin haircuts and girlpants do nothing but cause the bile to over process within my innards. Bands like Killswitch Engage and Bleeding Through are not metal...they are homorific fecal waste with bad haircuts and crying. Boo Hoo pantywaists...boo hoo.
Even worse than emo is the seedy underbelly of death metal....gore metal. Nothing but 3 chord bands screaming lyrics gleamed from splatter flick scenes and autopsy reports..they do nothing but further stigmatize metal and pollute the genre. You guys suck just as bad, if not more, than the emo and glam revisionists. At least they are after a piece of pussy. You guys are just fucking stupid.
So yeah...this is a decent starter post for this blog...and next time I shall delve into such topics as why Cradle of Filth needs to die in a vat of acid and also why black metal has sucked since Quorthon from Bathory died. Ihsahn doesn't even want to be aligned with the modern black metal scene...and he was the King for quite a while. But I digress.
Keep it real, fellow readers..and UP THE IRONS.
